![]() Grandmother sat like a mermaid on the floor and said with a giggle that she couldn’t get up again. It was nearly Christmas and the mailman winked at Aunt Ellen and said something about the vanilla cookies smelling good. Grandfather was sitting in the parlor studying aerial photos of Leipzig and his mother had gone out to the rabbits in the cowshed. As he turned into the farmyard, Grandmother got down on the floor and began to scrub the linoleum with her ass in the air. Aunt Ellen, for instance, told how one time towards the end of the war they were baking vanilla cookies, but then the mailman came. They were full of stories, and right from the beginning they wanted to tell them all, and when they did they would look at him as if to encourage him to learn them by heart. I was so embarrassed that day.He remembers his grandmother, but everything that happened before he was born comes from his mother and Aunt Ellen. May be she understood the challenges of being a single parent.īecause of Vishu, I had to present myself as his mom in front of everyone at Tanisha’s birthday. As if, she was trying to be protective towards me. But what kind of father does something like that?” But Smita kept me closer to her for the entire party. Some were talking among themselves, “There are so many kids who grow up without their mothers. Some were laughing behind me, some were looking at me with surprise some lady walked up to me to tell me that she could not believe I could drape a saree so well. And slowly people began to talk about me in a hushed voice in that party. Those who didn’t know me before, now knew me as a man who showed up at the party wearing a saree. No matter, how feminine my appearance was, but everyone knew the truth. But everyone knew that Vishu’s mother was no longer in this world. Inside Smita’s home, she introduced me to all the parents present at the party as her friend Sushmita who also happens to be Vishu’s mother. Imagine doing a makeup at 4:15 in the morning! But I loved to do it for my son who considered his mumma to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Ouch! Vishu didn’t want his mother to look less in any manner. And now, I had to wax my full body from time to time. But to be his mom, I had to wake up at 4 to dress up. It was a hassle to say the least! Well, making Vishu’s lunch box or helping him get dressed for the school in the morning would take the same amount of time whether I was being his papa or his mom. And slowly, I had to become Vishu’s mother two or three times in a week. I had began cross-dressing once again in my life not for me but for him. ![]() And he would come to me that day and say, “Papa, I want to see mumma today.” And I had to oblige his request by becoming his mumma while stopping everything else I might have been doing at that time. But he was an innocent child who would miss his mother anytime he would see some kid with their mom in his school. ![]() When wearing a saree that night, I was thinking that this was going to be one time thing to amuse Vishu. But I had to control my emotions and be ready for my son who needed me the most. Wearing my wife’s saree, my heart was crying inside remembering her. I went to my room and slept after changing too. That night he played with me and kept repeatedly calling me mummy, mummy,… and he slept peacefully. The feeling of being a mom was incredible and satisfying. The satisfaction I felt hugging him in my arms, probably that’s what being a mother is all about. I then bent down and said to him, “You missed your mom, right? Aren’t you going to hug your mumma now?” And he came running into my arms. He was laughing at me, but at least he was laughing after so many days. “Not a girl, your papa has become your mummy!”, I said to him. “Papa, you have become a girl!”, and he began to laugh out loud. The moment he saw me, there was a big smile on his face. To get his attention, I changed my voice with a high pitch like a woman and said to him, “Vishu beta, see who is here to meet you!” He slowly moved his sad eyes to look behind at me. He was silently watching the television in that room.
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